Working It: Moms Blog About Work-Life Choices

"I recently committed an atrocious act for a new journalism school grad such as myself. I took myself out of the running for, what on paper, was an ideal job," writes Meri Perra in a Queer as Moms blog post at Bunch Family. 

I found out about this post when Perra sent me a tweet, thanking me for some wisdom I had unknowingly offered her via a column I wrote a few weeks ago for The Toronto Star. (If you read Perra's blog post, this will all make sense.)

When I read Perra's post, about her work-life conflicts, I realized that very little has changed in the 22 years since I first became a mom. In the majority of cases, the workplace still completes with the family for the worker's time and and thought space, in much the same way that a jealous lover wants to be the sole focus of attention. The only thing that's different these days is that both moms and dads are equally likely to be subjected to the work-home tug-of-war -- and to be penalized, career-wise, for putting family first.

Yes, there are some very enlightened companies that are doing things right by making family-friendly policies a priority, and they deserved to be rewarded with our business. Unfortunately, those companies are the exception rather than the rule.

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Just as I was about to wrap up this post, I came across another powerful post on the work-life theme -- this one by mom-entrepreneur Alexandria Durrell (a.k.a. Clippo). She talks about how her home-based business almost got away on her (success isn't always everything it's cracked up to be) until she decided to rein things in. The net result? She's turned it into a win-win for her family and her customers.

The Mama Bee on That Children's Book That Everyone is Blogging About

I've been following the buzz about that children's book that everyone's been blogging about over the past month. I haven't been inspired to blog about it myself (there are so many other things to blog, write, and think about), but I did want to pass along what I think is a particularly insightful comment from The Mama Bee. She writes:

"So many other things make me very angry.  That spending time with my children is sometime compromised by my worries over work.  That my husband and I both work long hours and spend less time with each other than we would like.  That countless securities – healthcare, life insurance, retirement pay – are bound up with my job, making me feel inexplicably trapped, even though I like my job and don’t plan to leave anytime soon.  But not putting my kids to bed at night.

So I’m trying to figure out why this book has struck such a chord.  And I think – if indeed it is parents who are relating to this content – that it’s not about putting your kids to bed per se.  It’s about the minute amount of time at the end of the day that husbands and wives have together.  It’s not really the kids who are squeezing this.  It’s the number of hours we spend at work.  But a book titled ‘Put the F**king Computer Down’ probably wouldn’t have done as well."

So, yes, this book has tapped into a mother- and father-lode of anger. But, as The Mama Bee suggests, it doesn't make sense to direct that anger at our kids.

Let's be honest and acknowledge where that anger should be directed: at a society that pretends to value families, but that tolerates work-family policy that make it much more difficult than it needs to be for parents to be parents and to pay the bills.

Link via Work Life Flexibility 2010.